Flat on My Back!

Have you ever dreamed of doing something, but found every reason why you couldn’t do it? I don’t know where to start. What if I fail? And then there’s the oh-so-popular I don’t have time. Raise your hand if you’re guilty. Both my hands were up…for twenty years. I’d wanted to be an author for as long as I could remember, but it wasn’t until I was flat on my back, literally, that I got it done.

I shared stories with my mother, who always told me to stop telling and start writing, and never did anything about it until she passed away. At the same time, I was battling back pain and sciatica, which was growing progressively worse. Nothing seemed to work, including steroid injections. Needless to say, I was done. On a much-needed family vacation to grieve and heal, I was determined to write the book this time. And I did. Well, I started it. But, then it was back to work, school for the girls and that every worsening pain.

A year later, I could barely walk and anyone who remembers hitting his or her elbow on the “funny bone” can tell you there wasn’t anything to laugh about. Magnify that pain by a thousand, with it reverberating for a good thirty seconds (which in pain language is FOREVER) and that’s what would happen to me randomly when walking. So, in June 2010 I made the difficult decision to have surgery. I dug out my backpack that I hadn’t seen since vacation and inside sat the notebook with the unfinished book. One whole year had passed and I never even thought about writing. How pitiful is that? After fussing at myself for a good ten minutes, I tossed it on my dresser and packed for the hospital.

For the first month after surgery, I could not sit—doctor mandate, but I could walk down the hall a few times a day. It took a good three to four minutes to stand and every time I braced on the walker, I saw that notebook…taunting me…”I’m still waiting. When are you going to finish me?” It took about three weeks for the pain to subside enough to concentrate for more than five seconds and I thought I was home free. Finally, I’d get a few good hours of sleep. Wrong. For three nights, scenes from that story played in my mind, waking me up virtually every hour. By the fourth night, I waved the white flag. Seriously. The next day, I got that notebook off the dresser and, lying on my back, finished the story. In three weeks! So, it needs a lot of work, but that’s not the point. The point is I finished it. Reaching ‘the end’ seemed to unlock all the stories crowding my mind. But (yep, there’s a but) three months later, I went back to work and, you guessed it…no more writing.

God has a serious sense of humor because the following June, I had to have another surgery. I wrote another book and started a third one. I ended up needing a third surgery six months later and, yes, wrote a fourth book. It was this book that sold to Harlequin and started me on this incredible journey as a published author. I’ve since had two more surgeries and can no longer work as a pediatric occupational therapist, but I do get to live my dream.

I have to be honest, I asked God more than once, why me? I still do. But, I’ve come to realize that some of His greatest blessings come out of the storms of life, and that sometimes, God has to put us flat on our backs to get our attention. What dream of yours is waiting to be born? Will you, like me, need to be flat on your back to see its manifestation? If so, be encouraged. God’s grace is sufficient to see you through.